Silicone grease or the spray is the best to use, you only need to coat the seal in a small amount, use too much and the cap is likely to stick to the piston plug and will fail to blow back. you can use a small amount of oil and it will give you a good smoke effect, but the silicone grease or spray is the way to go.
As for cleaning if you dont have the ultra sonic cleaner then you can simple use a lot of fairy liquid (or similar) in a dish with hot water and swill the rounds around. wash off with clean water then with a q tip give the inside of the round a good clean, it is best to clean the rounds as soon as you have finished firing them as they clean up much easier that way.